I’ll start with a question. What are you looking for?

There’s a simple truth that’s easy to forget. Generally, people find what they’re looking for. Where you expect to find kindness, kindness is often found. Where you look for disappointment, disappointment is easy to come by. When you don’t like what you see, look a little deeper. It’s incredible how a simple shift of focus can become a significant change in perspective. So often, the answer you seek is right in front of you.

Dawson is my youngest son. He’s 15 now and looking forward to driving soon. But when he was about 10 years younger, he had an interesting habit. He would try to get my attention. He’d say, “Hey, dad!” And then just stop. I’d say, “Yes, Dawson.” And then there would be this long silence.

The silence happened because I always said, “Yes, Dawson.” On autopilot, I just responded. I didn’t look up from my computer, away from my phone, or stop watching the game on TV. But he didn’t keep telling his story or asking his questions until I looked him in the eyes. At one point, he climbed up in my lap, grabbed my face with both hands and made it completely impossible for me to avoid a moment of undivided attention with him.

I’ll confess. Sometimes, it was annoying. He said, “Hey, Dad,” a lot! But most of the time, it was convicting. My time with Dawson is limited. I’ll know him as a grown man far longer than I got to know him as a young boy. Today, I find myself craving the attention of my adult kids more and more. I hope our experiences together when they were younger built a foundation that strengthens our family as we all grow older. I hope I’ve made it easy for them to see and given them unwavering confidence that, in our family, I am paying attention and always on their side.

But it’s more than a family thing. It’s one thing to interact with people. It’s another thing to give them the gift of your attention. We live in a distracted world. We’re one text message, one calendar request, one email, phone call, beep, buzz, or flash away from thinking about anything else.

The character trait of the month is attentiveness. The definition is simple, but the practice is challenging. Attentiveness is concentrating on the person or task right in front of you.

Intent amplifies attentiveness.

• We can intentionally look people in the eye.
• We can intentionally silence our cell phones.
• We can press pause on our preconceived ideas.
• We can listen patiently without formulating a response while the other person speaks.
• We can make unhurried time for others.
• We can prioritize what’s happening in this moment over the anxiety of what might happen in the next.

I had a friend named Mike Compton. He was exceptionally educated. He had two doctorates. He was sought after for his expertise and experience. He spoke on massive stages and influenced generations of people. Yet, in a crowded room filled with people vying for his attention, when he spoke with you, he’d look you in the eye and he had this way of making you feel like, at that moment, your story was the most important thing he had to hear.

Attentiveness is an incredible gift.

I’m grateful for yours in this moment and hopeful that it’s the gift you give to the next person who’s right in front of you.