The first thing that came to mind when I began to write this article on persuasiveness was that I have been in ministry over 44 years. This means I have spent the majority of my life trying to persuade people to give their life to Christ, let their light shine, be strong in the Lord, love others as God loves them, be an example of Christ in the earth; the list goes on and on.

The Apostle Paul also spent the majority of his life persuading others to surrender to Christ. A verse in Acts chapter 18 says that he was reasoning in the synagogue every Sabbath, trying to persuade both Jews and Greeks. In the very next chapter, it says that Paul persuaded and turned away a considerable number of people, telling them that gods made with hands are no gods at all.

Persuasiveness, in general, means to use guiding vital truths to help others navigate mental roadblocks without being contentious. It means to effectively communicate in a way that induces others to better understand.

Persuasiveness is not argumentative. Nor does it mean that you have to be a great debater; overpowering others with your words. On the contrary, persuasiveness is the ability to change someone’s thinking without confrontation or conflict. Although we might be thinking this, persuasiveness is not shouting, “You don’t see my point? It’s right there in front of you!”

Here are what I believe to be three important keys to being an effective persuader:

Persuasiveness Key #1 – Character

Who you are as a person speaks much louder than what you say. Character adds credibility to your words. Aristotle said that character is the most effective means of persuasion. People need to know that you genuinely care about them more than you care about your point of view. And they can’t trust your genuineness if they question your character. Zig Ziglar said, “The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.” If someone can truly trust you are an honest and trustworthy person, they are more likely to listen to your words. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “You have very little morally persuasive power with people who can feel your underlying contempt.”

Persuasiveness Key #2 – Listen

Another important key in persuading others is to convince them that they have been heard. No matter how wrong you think they are, give them the opportunity to fully express their point of view. Dean Rusk, a former US State Secretary said, “One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears — by listening to them.” Don’t listen with the intent to pounce on their argument. Instead, listen with a caring ear that assures them that you truly understand their point of view. Dale Carnegie said, “Nobody is more persuasive than a good listener.”

Persuasiveness Key #3 – Ask Questions

Use questions as breadcrumbs to lead people to the truth you desire them to discover. Blaise Pascal, 17^th century mathematician and philosopher said, “People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves rather than by those found out by others.” Carefully framed questions can help to engage a person in your persuasive process. Former US Senator, Claiborne Pell said it this way; “The secret is to always let the other man have your way.”

I would hope that the countless seeds of persuasiveness I have planted over the years have borne much fruit. But that’s the interesting thing about persuasiveness. Oftentimes we really don’t know just how persuasive we’ve been, because it sometimes takes time for our words to blossom in people’s minds and hearts. And it’s not always our persuasive efforts alone that seals the deal. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, “One man plants, another waters, but it is God who makes it sprout.”

So, don’t be discouraged if you feel that your persuasive efforts were unsuccessful. Most assuredly, after you have planted your seeds of persuasiveness, someone will come along and water them, and in time they will sprout into a harvest of truth that will stay with that person for a lifetime.