In January when I volunteered to write the blog for FLEXIBILITY, little did I know it would be one of the hottest topics of conversation beginning in March with the COVID-19 pandemic.

Flexibility is a character trait that describes the extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways. This trait is used when stressors or unexpected events occur, requiring a person to change their stance, outlook, or commitment.  WOW, this definition pretty wells sums up our last 10-12 weeks with no immediate relief in the near future.  It has been a challenge but Personal Life Coach and Author, Roxana Jones said, “Problems disappear when we are willing to become flexible.”

I am a person that has always liked schedules and lots of checklists to make sure I am accomplishing the things I have planned, so flexibility has been a bit of a struggle for me. I guess I should be thankful that I retired last July and have been adjusting to fewer schedules and checklists, so I had about 8 months to adjust to a less structured life. One of the problems I have had to deal with is with my retirement; I thought I would have all of the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted to do it, but the quarantine has put a temporary end to this practice.

I believe that the first week of the quarantine was the toughest with just adjusting to being home 24 hours a day.   I am constantly on the go, so this was my biggest challenge.  After I adjusted to being home, I was able to catch up on a long list of things I had wanted to do since my retirement 8 months previously, but I just hadn’t found the time to complete the tasks.  With the quarantine, I was able to clean closets, drawers, the attic, the garage and many other items that I could mark off of my list as completed.

There have been graduations, showers and weddings that have been cancelled, rescheduled or re-imagined in new and creative ways that have caused everyone to be very flexible.

My husband and I had planned a vacation for the middle of April, but by the end of March we recognized that trip would not be possible.  We cancelled the trip and all of the arrangements we had so carefully planned and knew we would be able to plan the trip at a later date – flexibility.   I would love to say that it was easy, but remember what I said about me loving schedules……It was very disappointing but very necessary to cancel the trip.

Attending church has been another adjustment while learning to “virtually” worship by watching our church services on Sundays and Wednesdays.  Our church has kept us involved and provided many resources for our spiritual growth while we have been quarantined.  Our church has shown great flexibility in meeting the needs of the community.

Likewise, I am so thankful that my mother is in an assisted living facility in Owasso and I have been able to visit her daily for the last 3 years, until the middle of March.  Things dramatically changed in regard to my mother because the facility locked down very quickly causing another disruption in my schedule.  As difficult as it has been I am very thankful that she is in a safe place and is having all of her needs taken care of by a wonderful staff.  Still it has been difficult, this is the first Mother’s Day and birthday that I have not spent with my mom.   With all of the disappointments and missed celebrations I am so thankful for technology that allows me to visit with her daily and see her on Facetime.  She has virtually attended celebration dinners, cook-outs and pool parties.

As work, faith and social schedules are changing it will be different for everyone and every family.  Some people/families will revert to the old schedules very quickly while others will be slow to change back to their old routines.  I think the word we will all be living with for the near future is: flexibility.  We certainly need to show grace to ourselves and others during this stressful time as we all learn to be more creative in our flexibility.

Mental Health Clinician and Author, Deborah Day, says that “flexibility requires an open mind and a welcoming of new alternatives.” My wish is that we all stay safe and learn new ways to be flexible for every new situation that comes our way.