If you take a glance at any weekend news show on TV or spend more than 5 minutes on the internet, you can quickly see that forgiveness appears to be in short supply nowadays.  It seems like we’ve shifted from a society that embraces (or at least tolerates) vigorous debate of opposing ideas to a culture that embraces an ideology that “anyone who disagrees with me is evil and therefore must be destroyed”.  Every issue has become politicized and even personal, from the type of car you drive to the type of chicken sandwich you prefer to eat.  Because every issue is personal, we tend to view every disagreement as a personal attack instead of just a difference of opinion.

The anonymity of the internet has added to this perception.  We see strangers saying vile things to one another from the comfort of their recliners; saying things from behind their keyboards that they would never dream of saying to someone in person.  The permanent record of ill-advised social media posts and videos allow others to easily access and use any past transgressions to destroy another person’s character, social life, career, and family.  We harbor resentments from real or perceived wrongs done against us to justify our actions against our “enemies”.  Many even revel gleefully in watching others fall from grace in full view of the public.  They deserved it after all, they chose a different chicken sandwich than me.  They are evil and the ends justify the means when dealing with evil people, right?

Although it may seem like it sometimes, this isn’t a totally new phenomenon.  The current never-ending arguments may be in our faces every time we turn on the TV or pick up our phones, but there have been many other times throughout our nation’s history when we have been bitterly divided. Perhaps the most glaring example being the Civil War, when families were pitted against each other and millions of lives were lost.  I read about an incident from that era that really brought things into perspective for me, making many of our modern squabbles seem minor in comparison.

In the fall of 1864, during the height of the war, President Abraham Lincoln’s teenage son, Robert Todd Lincoln, was traveling by train from New York to Washington D.C. during a break from school.   On a crowded platform in New Jersey, Robert stepped backwards to make way for other passengers, lost his balance, and fell between the train cars and the elevated platform.  As the train began to lurch forward, a stranger reached out his hand and pulled Robert to safety just before he was crushed.  Robert immediately recognized the man who had saved his life: a famous stage actor named Edwin Booth.  Robert thanked Edwin profusely and the two strangers parted ways with Edwin having no idea that he had just saved the life of the president’s son and Robert having no idea of the impact Edwin’s younger brother would have on the Lincoln family only a few short months later.

Upon his arrival in Washington, Robert told his family about the incident and President Lincoln promptly sent a letter to the actor thanking him for his heroism.  Although they undoubtedly differed sharply in their political leanings, it was recognized for what it was: a father simply expressing his appreciation to the man who saved his son’s life.  On April 14, 1865, Robert Lincoln was supposed to accompany his parents to Ford Theater for a performance, but a scheduling conflict forced him to be elsewhere that evening.  As we know, John Wilkes Booth entered the private theater balcony and shot President Lincoln to death.  Booth escaped the theater, but was later found hiding in a tobacco barn and killed by the pursuing Union troops.

Robert Lincoln struggled with guilt for not being at the theater with his father that night.  Like so many of us do when tragedies occur, Robert second guessed his decision to skip the performance and convinced himself that things would have been different if he had been there.  If he had only been there, he surely could have seen the armed assassin coming for his father and been able to overpower him before he fired the fatal shot.  Similarly, Edwin Booth reportedly fell to the floor in shock upon learning of the assassination, riddled with guilt that his brother had been the assassin and faced the inner torment about what he could have done to prevent his actions.

Both the Booth and Lincoln families lost loved ones and both found themselves on opposite ends of the political spectrum in which they deeply believed they were right.  Both families could have easily harbored resentment towards the other, but instead they chose to forgive.  Robert found success in serving in the government and private sector, eventually forgiving not only the Booth family, but also himself for not being at the theater that night.  On many occasions, Robert retold the story of Edwin saving his life and expressed that he bore no ill will toward anyone in the Booth family.  Convinced that his brother’s actions had forever sullied the family name, Edwin initially quit acting, but with the encouragement of the Lincoln family, he returned to the stage and found success in the post-war society.  In a letter to his daughter toward the end of his life, Edwin expressed that his only solace from the war was the fact that he had been at the right place at the right time to save Robert’s life, which in some small way might have made up for the damage the Booth family caused to the Lincolns, and indeed the nation.

Sources:

Ethan Trex.  John Wilkes Booth’s Brother Saved Abe Lincoln’s Son.  Mental Floss.  March 22, 2017.  April 2022.  https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/56482/time-john-wilkes-booths-brother-saved-abe-lincolns-son

Wikipedia. Edwin Booth. Wikipedia. March 30, 2022. April 2022. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwin_Booth