Dependability is defined as “Fulfilling commitments, even in the face of difficulty.”  I suppose it could be defined, “in difficulty or in comfort.”  Sometimes it’s actually harder to keep commitments when all is well.  But let’s keep it simple.  Let’s focus on simply “fulfilling commitments” ……always.

You’re likely familiar with conditional statements.  They are the “If-Then” statements, as when we say, “If so and so is true, then that is true,” or, “If such and such happens, then that will probably happen as a result.”  So, follow me here as we walk through some If-Thens on dependability.

Throughout history, philosophers and great thinkers have contemplated, discussed, and written about the question, “Why do we do what we do?”  One way to frame answers to this question is in the form of “Psychological Needs or Drivers.”

In my reading over the years, I’ve run into them in various forms, but have most commonly understood our “Psychological Drivers” to be some version of Autonomy, Belonging, and Purpose:  Autonomy: We like our freedom to choose and make decisions for ourselves.  Belonging: We like to belong, be a part of, or be connected to others.  Purpose:  We desire to know why we’re here and to contribute to something greater than ourselves.

No matter how you frame these “drivers” or needs, we all want to be loved, valued, and appreciated in our efforts to make a difference in the world.  And it takes other people to feel connected in this way, for us to feel like we really belong.

So, follow here…. IF belonging, connection, love, and appreciation are some of the most important things in life, needs that literally drive us, THEN relationships with other people are super important.  I had a friend tell me early in my career,

“It’s all about relationships.”  I didn’t completely see it then, but now I know it to be true.  We know that people are more important than problems, more important than projects, and more important than profits.  We hear frequently, “People are our most important resource” and how we treat them and get along with them is crucial.  So, it’s true.  Healthy relationships are vital.

So, IF healthy relationships are of such vital importance, THEN building strong relationships should be one of our highest priorities.  If I were to ask you, “What’s most important in building strong relationships?” most of you would agree that TRUST is right at the top of the list.  Most relationship problems stem from a breakdown in trust.  Trust is of first importance in building strong relationships.  And trust is all about consistent behavior; it’s about integrity; but more than anything maybe, trust is about simply doing what you say you’ll do.  It’s about fulfilling commitments, which is the definition of dependability.

What we DO is far more important than what we SAY, so if we say we will do something, then we need to DO IT!  That’s dependability.

The Quakers had a rule of humility that said, “Always allow your performance to exceed your profession.”  Again, what we do is more important than what we say.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Well done is better than well said.”  In other words, good intentions are good, but what we DO is what matters.  Somebody once said, “People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.”

And finally, author Patrick Ness says it as well as anyone as he writes, “You do not write your life with words… You write it with actions.  What you think is not important.  It is only important what you do.”

So, IF dependability is key to our trustworthiness, and trust is critical to our relationships; and relationships are vital to our need for belonging and connection; THEN there may not be a greater predictor of fulfillment and success in life than dependability.  And going back to the psychological drivers, you have autonomy on this; you have a choice…….Don’t we want to be known for our dependability?

So, if you say you’ll do it…. Tie a string around your finger…. Write it on a sticky note…… Enter it on your calendar…. Put it on your TO DO List…………………

But most importantly, DO IT! Just Do It! (Hmm, that might make a good slogan) Keep commitments, be trustworthy, build strong relationships, and be a part of a group of people that truly make a difference.

So, we’re keeping it simple here; No ‘5 Steps to Greater Dependability’; No big emotional appeal; No inspiring stories; Just some simple logic….

When we realize how much is riding on our dependability………

Our trustworthiness…Our relationships…Our desire for belonging…and ultimately to some degree……Our fulfillment and purpose and satisfaction in life……we’ll be inspired to be faithful in relationships; be dependable; fulfill commitments; and simply Do what we say we’ll do.