In a recent staff discussion a director recognized two team members for exemplifying this month’s character trait of loyalty.  The first example is a member of the team who is choosing to work around the need to provide care for her dad as he is aging and encountering health issues.  She adjusts her schedule to meet his needs, even if it means working on Saturdays to catch up when a week has been full of schedule adjustments.  As an only child, she has no siblings to share in this responsibility and even when it is not convenient, she is loyal in doing what she can to meet the needs of her dad.  The second example is a member of the team who is loyal to his marriage vows in sickness and in health.  In 2013 his wife suffered a stroke, from which she was not able to fully recover.  If you met this individual you would never know that he is the full-time caretaker of his spouse.  Whether he is leaving for lunch or leaving at the end of the day, you can hear him say he is going home to take care of his beautiful bride.  She is always his top priority.  His heart and his commitment to his spouse is a picture-perfect example of a husband’s loyalty to his wife.  Each month we discuss that month’s character trait during a regular staff meeting.  This was the first time this discussion resulted in most of the room tearing up.  True examples of loyalty are a beautiful thing to see and think about, and an encouragement to others.

As I was thinking about loyalty, I was curious how Webster’s dictionary defined loyalty.  There were several definitions, two of which were “faithful to a person to whom allegiance or affection is due” and “faithful to a cause or ideal.”  The first definition is what I was expecting to find, the second definition is one I had not thought about.  Reading through the two definitions side by side, I could see what I view as one of the struggles of society and our interactions with one another.  It is easier to treat the two definitions as a choice, a choice to live out one, or the other, but not both.  Either we are loyal to a person, or we are loyal to a cause.  The struggle is to live both definitions congruently.  Can we be loyal to those around us, even if their cause is different, their politics are different, or their life choices are different?  One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 3:3 “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!  Tie them around your neck as a reminder.  Write them deep within your heart.”  Loyalty is not only about our attitude, and it is not solely about our actions, but our attitudes and our actions working together in allegiance to the people around us and in allegiance to what we value and hold dear.  Differences in causes or ideas, differences in politics, or differences in beliefs can test our loyalty.

The challenge this month is to identify situations you encounter where it is difficult to show either loyalty to a person because of a difference in beliefs about a cause or idea, or when it is difficult to be loyal to an idea or cause, because of the lack of support from someone who has your loyalty.  Once we identify the situations that challenge us, we can then identify ways to display loyalty to both ideas and people.

Originally published in the Owasso Reporter September 2018