It’s easy to look inside the pages of a dictionary and find the traditional definition of the word “loyalty.” You may discover the phrase “the quality of being loyal” or “a strong feeling of support or allegiance.” We’ve also heard terms like “loyalty program” or “loyalty members,” referencing systems where customers redeem points at their favorite businesses for discounts, free products, rewards, or insider perks. The concept of “loyalty,” however, comes in more shapes and sizes than these cookie-cutter descriptions.

For me, loyalty lies in friends, in church and community, in cultivating lasting relationships with others, and in admitting my mistakes and making amends when needed. It also lies in my work, in showing up on time, in communicating effectively, in listening intently, in getting the job done right, and in informing and inspiring others through engaging storytelling. What’s more, loyalty lies in myself — continually devoting time and effort to bettering my heart, my mind, and my spirit.

Of course, that’s me. Where your loyalty lies may look different for you. But I think we can all agree that the concept of loyalty is based on the foundation of dedication, commitment, and trustworthiness regardless of where you invest it. However, it is a healthy reminder to recognize that there is always an antonym for every character trait. I looked up the opposite of loyalty and found words like “treacherous,” “unfaithful,” “treasonous,” “counterfeit,” and more. These are words we ideally don’t want to be associated with.

However, we are all human and fall short at times. Sometimes loyalty doesn’t come easy. Sometimes it’s a difficult trait to embrace, especially when life gets rocky, circumstances change, or we’re simply left just having a bad day. Whatever the case, striving to be loyal — rather than striving for perfection — should be the goal, even when we miss the mark. English historical novelist Philippa Gregory once said: “Loyalty is my motto. When I give my word, you can trust me.” Fellow author Ada Velez-Boardley added: “Loyalty is the pledge of truth to oneself and others.”

Whether you’re loyal to others, your job, your family or your self-improvement (ideally all of the above), embracing this important character trait ultimately means embracing a lifestyle of selflessness, allegiance, and intentionality.