Showing Thanks
Leslie Clark | November 2022
Gratefulness refers to our ability to show thanks for the things we have and a readiness to show appreciation and to return kindness. It helps us recognize all the blessings in our lives, which makes it easier to focus on the positive. I want to emphasize here…Being positive is not pretending that everything is good. It is seeing the good in everything.
When you think of the holiday season, what comes to your mind? I think of the time spent with family and friends, more delicious food than I should eat, and all kinds of fun festivities. With each of these blessings, there is some level of anxiety associated with the preparations. This is my 30th year in education. In those 30 years, I have observed a consistent pattern in students before holiday breaks. I would describe the pattern I see as heightened anxiety.
This pattern of anxiety can apply to all of us, as adults, as well. For me, holiday anxiety centers around the preparations. On what dates are we getting together? Who is available to come on those dates? What are we going to eat? Who is bringing what? …And, if you know me well, the list of questions goes on.
What are some benefits of Gratefulness? It can improve our overall well-being and our relationships with others. Intentionally expressing Gratefulness helps us experience greater happiness, relish good experiences, improve our health, face adversity with courage, and strengthen relationships.
As an example, studies have found we feel more positive toward our spouse when we express appreciation for them. Steven Covey defined an emotional bank account as one’s relationship with another. He said, “By proactively doing things that build trust in a relationship, one makes ‘deposits’.” I believe the same can be said for Gratefulness deposits.
Expressing Gratefulness to those we work with can also increase productivity. Something as simple as saying, “Thank you” can make a positive difference. I can attest to this experience. Matt Roberts was the principal at Owasso High School when I was hired as an assistant principal. Matt consistently practiced Gratefulness, but I did not put it all together, until I began writing.
Matt frequently said things to me like, “Thank you for your help.” And, “I appreciate you.” If you know Matt Roberts, you know he is genuine in his interactions. So, this was no calculated manipulation strategy. It was simply him expressing gratitude for my work. I still appreciate his thoughtful nature. Not only did he think about being “thankful”. He expressed it. His thoughtful expression made me want to work even better.
The Bible teaches us to “give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Gratefulness allows us to realize that even through pain, there are things to appreciate. We have the amazing ability to find light, even in the darkest of spaces.
I started being more intentional about expressing Gratefulness as my Dad’s health declined, before he died in 2018. I could complain about getting up at 4:00 in the morning so I could take him to his dialysis appointments before I went to work. Or I could be grateful for the “windshield time” and the precious memories that I would have otherwise missed out on. I’m glad I chose the latter.
If you do not already express Gratefulness, I encourage you to start with just recognizing three things you are thankful for at the beginning or the end of the day. It can be as simple as the sun, or the rain, as the case may be today. Then start expressing Gratefulness to others. If it feels awkward saying the words, writing notes can be just as beneficial. Journaling is my next step in my journey of practicing Gratefulness.
I know some of you are already consistent writers and may be further along on this journey than I am. Nevertheless, I am Grateful we are all on this journey together.
Additional Resources on Gratefulness:
